Individual Interest Poses a Threat to Communicating with Loved Ones.
“Did embarking on your passions pose unexpected challenges to navigate in your life?”
By: Ally Schulkin
April 5th, 2020
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Eighteen-year-old college student, Isabelle Payton, wrote in with me to discuss a linguistic barrier formed between her and her loved ones. As Isabelle grew up, her newly found appreciation and understanding for science significantly posed a challenge to communicating with her family.
Did you always know you enjoyed science?
No. As a child, I actually hated science and wanted nothing to do with it. In fact, I vividly remember a smell worse than a port-a-potty nearly suffocating me as I walked into my 7th grade science classroom for a frog dissection- a moment I had been dreading for the upcoming weeks before. I squirmed as I saw the dead, musty frog pulled out of the bag and placed on the blue pad in front of me. I had begged my parents the previous week to call me out of school that day. However, as the dissection progressed, I had slowly found myself completely fascinated and intrigued with the inner layers and components of the frog that I had not only forgotten about the smell, but I was shocked by how fast the class went by. I had completely fallen into a trance.
For me, that day marks the beginning of my found passion for science. As the years have gone by, I have realized I am particularly the most intrigued by biology and chemistry, but still extremely fascinated by many different scientific areas.
When exactly did you discover your passion for biology in particular?
Although I had first realized the potential fascination for science in 7th grade, it wasn’t until my Junior year of high school that I fell in love with biology. But it wasn’t always this way.
When I pulled out the biology textbook, for my first assignment I honestly stared at it for 30 minutes before I first opened it up. I had rarely encountered intriguing academic books; thus, I expected the biology textbook to be just as dull and boring to read as my other assigned academic readings. However, once I finally motivated myself to start the reading, I was shocked by how fascinated I was with the content. I accidentally ended up reading more than I had to with my first opening of the book because I was so intrigued. My brain filled with concepts such as cellular processes, macromolecules, cellular respiration, DNA replication, and more. It even led to me reading other biology-based books for fun in my free time such as “The Hot Zone” and “A Crack to Creation” and “Stiff.” Biology soon became addictive and I had started taking every opportunity I could get to expand my biology knowledge starting Junior year of high school.
When did you first struggle with communicating with your family about your love for biology?
Once I had first gotten to college, I had known I wanted to do more with my biology knowledge. Immediately, I applied to various biology-based research labs around campus with the hopes of having some hands-on biology experience. Eventually, I joined a breast cancer research lab and embarked on my biology research journey.
Once the experience started taking off and my brain exploded with biology-based knowledge, I simply couldn’t contain my excitement. But, every time I would pick up the phone to call my parents and tell them about my experience and knowledge, they would be completely lost. Without understanding a single concept, they continuously would ask me to further explain myself, simplify what I was saying, or give up- acknowledging they would never understand what I was doing and learning. With each and every phone call I became more aware of the biology language I had adapted and the new linguistic barrier forming between my parents and myself. It made adapting to college extremely hard as I was trying to balance the struggles of a first-year college student on top of a new communication struggle with my closest loved ones.
_______________________________________________________
“I felt as if there was a new part of my life they would never be able to understand.”
_______________________________________________________
What were the impacts of this formed language barrier between you and your family?
Firstly, it made adapting to college extremely difficult and really took on a toll on my mental health. As my knowledge of science grew and advanced, I began to feel more and more distant from my family because I couldn’t communicate with them as thoroughly. Even more so, I felt as if there was a new part of my life they would never be able to understand. For the first time, I was experiencing the complications that came along with self-development.
It was not at all easy as I went most of my life being able to fully communicate with my family. However, this newly formed language barrier helped me develop a stronger self-understanding as I was understanding the direct impacts of being my own individual and embarking on my own passions. Essentially, although it was extremely challenging to navigate talking to my loved ones, I was simultaneously growing and developing my inner passions. Overall, this barrier positively affected me in some respects, but negatively in other aspects at first.
How have you learned to deal with the impacts and conflicts this language barrier has created?
I have yet to discover the best way to deal with this communication barrier between my family and I; however, this battle to communicate is the price we pay in order to fully embrace our unique selves. Without my technical biology language, I would miss out on all the satisfaction and amusement it brings into my world. Yes, it does mean that my parents don’t understand every little detail going on in my life anymore, but I have also realized that is a part of growing up. They don’t need to understand every little thing going on in my world because regardless, at the end of the day, they just want me to be happy.
Even though they don’t always understand me, I know they are beyond proud and happy that I have found something in life that brings me so much inner happiness. It is love that holds us together and I believe this communication barrier has only made our love for each other stronger because it allows us to still love each other despite our differences.
__________________________________________________________________________
“This battle to communicate is the price we pay in order to full embrace our unique selves.”
_________________________________________________________________________
What advice can you give to others who also experience a linguistic barrier between themselves and their loved ones?
Ultimately, I would tell others who experience a similar linguistic barrier to embrace it. Although language barriers make communication more difficult to manage and navigate, it is also what makes us who we are. Especially with loved ones, you have to remember that a huge reason why you love each other is because you love each other for who you are and not the differences that pull you apart. Instead of dreading the difficult communication, embrace it because it makes your relationship that much more special. It truly is a special concept to love each other for the differences we have, even though we all may not understand each other's different communication skills perfectly.
Overall, Isabelle's story is one of many that demonstrates as one grows older, gaps begin to develop between them and their other loved ones due to individualized self-interests. Many young adults experience this challenge as they embark into adulthood and find themselves on a different life path than their loved ones had taken. However, we must all seek out our individual passions and self-happiness as we grow older, regardless of potential barriers or challenges that we may encounter. Although a common barrier is developing different communication skills than your parents, there are also many others that may emerge in different circumstances. Even though barriers may be challenging to navigate, you should never look down upon them as a negative. Rather, you should take these barriers as opportunities to appreciate everything else you have in life.
If you didn’t connect with this subject, you may want to check out these other stories:
Did you always know you enjoyed science?
No. As a child, I actually hated science and wanted nothing to do with it. In fact, I vividly remember a smell worse than a port-a-potty nearly suffocating me as I walked into my 7th grade science classroom for a frog dissection- a moment I had been dreading for the upcoming weeks before. I squirmed as I saw the dead, musty frog pulled out of the bag and placed on the blue pad in front of me. I had begged my parents the previous week to call me out of school that day. However, as the dissection progressed, I had slowly found myself completely fascinated and intrigued with the inner layers and components of the frog that I had not only forgotten about the smell, but I was shocked by how fast the class went by. I had completely fallen into a trance.
For me, that day marks the beginning of my found passion for science. As the years have gone by, I have realized I am particularly the most intrigued by biology and chemistry, but still extremely fascinated by many different scientific areas.
When exactly did you discover your passion for biology in particular?
Although I had first realized the potential fascination for science in 7th grade, it wasn’t until my Junior year of high school that I fell in love with biology. But it wasn’t always this way.
When I pulled out the biology textbook, for my first assignment I honestly stared at it for 30 minutes before I first opened it up. I had rarely encountered intriguing academic books; thus, I expected the biology textbook to be just as dull and boring to read as my other assigned academic readings. However, once I finally motivated myself to start the reading, I was shocked by how fascinated I was with the content. I accidentally ended up reading more than I had to with my first opening of the book because I was so intrigued. My brain filled with concepts such as cellular processes, macromolecules, cellular respiration, DNA replication, and more. It even led to me reading other biology-based books for fun in my free time such as “The Hot Zone” and “A Crack to Creation” and “Stiff.” Biology soon became addictive and I had started taking every opportunity I could get to expand my biology knowledge starting Junior year of high school.
When did you first struggle with communicating with your family about your love for biology?
Once I had first gotten to college, I had known I wanted to do more with my biology knowledge. Immediately, I applied to various biology-based research labs around campus with the hopes of having some hands-on biology experience. Eventually, I joined a breast cancer research lab and embarked on my biology research journey.
Once the experience started taking off and my brain exploded with biology-based knowledge, I simply couldn’t contain my excitement. But, every time I would pick up the phone to call my parents and tell them about my experience and knowledge, they would be completely lost. Without understanding a single concept, they continuously would ask me to further explain myself, simplify what I was saying, or give up- acknowledging they would never understand what I was doing and learning. With each and every phone call I became more aware of the biology language I had adapted and the new linguistic barrier forming between my parents and myself. It made adapting to college extremely hard as I was trying to balance the struggles of a first-year college student on top of a new communication struggle with my closest loved ones.
_______________________________________________________
“I felt as if there was a new part of my life they would never be able to understand.”
_______________________________________________________
What were the impacts of this formed language barrier between you and your family?
Firstly, it made adapting to college extremely difficult and really took on a toll on my mental health. As my knowledge of science grew and advanced, I began to feel more and more distant from my family because I couldn’t communicate with them as thoroughly. Even more so, I felt as if there was a new part of my life they would never be able to understand. For the first time, I was experiencing the complications that came along with self-development.
It was not at all easy as I went most of my life being able to fully communicate with my family. However, this newly formed language barrier helped me develop a stronger self-understanding as I was understanding the direct impacts of being my own individual and embarking on my own passions. Essentially, although it was extremely challenging to navigate talking to my loved ones, I was simultaneously growing and developing my inner passions. Overall, this barrier positively affected me in some respects, but negatively in other aspects at first.
How have you learned to deal with the impacts and conflicts this language barrier has created?
I have yet to discover the best way to deal with this communication barrier between my family and I; however, this battle to communicate is the price we pay in order to fully embrace our unique selves. Without my technical biology language, I would miss out on all the satisfaction and amusement it brings into my world. Yes, it does mean that my parents don’t understand every little detail going on in my life anymore, but I have also realized that is a part of growing up. They don’t need to understand every little thing going on in my world because regardless, at the end of the day, they just want me to be happy.
Even though they don’t always understand me, I know they are beyond proud and happy that I have found something in life that brings me so much inner happiness. It is love that holds us together and I believe this communication barrier has only made our love for each other stronger because it allows us to still love each other despite our differences.
__________________________________________________________________________
“This battle to communicate is the price we pay in order to full embrace our unique selves.”
_________________________________________________________________________
What advice can you give to others who also experience a linguistic barrier between themselves and their loved ones?
Ultimately, I would tell others who experience a similar linguistic barrier to embrace it. Although language barriers make communication more difficult to manage and navigate, it is also what makes us who we are. Especially with loved ones, you have to remember that a huge reason why you love each other is because you love each other for who you are and not the differences that pull you apart. Instead of dreading the difficult communication, embrace it because it makes your relationship that much more special. It truly is a special concept to love each other for the differences we have, even though we all may not understand each other's different communication skills perfectly.
Overall, Isabelle's story is one of many that demonstrates as one grows older, gaps begin to develop between them and their other loved ones due to individualized self-interests. Many young adults experience this challenge as they embark into adulthood and find themselves on a different life path than their loved ones had taken. However, we must all seek out our individual passions and self-happiness as we grow older, regardless of potential barriers or challenges that we may encounter. Although a common barrier is developing different communication skills than your parents, there are also many others that may emerge in different circumstances. Even though barriers may be challenging to navigate, you should never look down upon them as a negative. Rather, you should take these barriers as opportunities to appreciate everything else you have in life.
If you didn’t connect with this subject, you may want to check out these other stories:
- “‘I stand left, but my parents stand right’- The direct impacts of opposing political views.”
- “How to deal with friends and family not approving of your realized sexual identity.”
- “Mr. Schulkin continuously told not to go to Law school, but still did. Here’s why, here’s how.”